April 10, 2012

Preach Christian Principles to an Abuse Victim????



     Recent statistics confirm former research that one in three (or four) women will experience abuse, even  sexual assault, in their lifetime— many being victims of child sexual abuse.  Studies also confirm that one in four women are victims of domestic violence.

Church congregations include many of these women, who come bearing the effects of their traumatic, destructive, life experiences. Often, dare I say mostly, the pastor is unaware of their congregant’s experiences, their secrets.  And the pastor, rightly, preaches his message according to Biblical principles.

Below are five situations that are common in church congregations:

  • Becky was raped by her father when she was eight years old.
  • Judy was molested by the church organist when she was nine.
  • Mary’s teenage brother played doctor with her at age five.
  • Alice is adopted. Her biological mother gave birth to her out of wedlock.
  • Barb escaped a physically and emotionally abusive husband through divorce.

What are the messages that these women hear preached, not only from the pulpit, but throughout the church? Typically they emphasize the following:

  • to remain sexually pure until marriage—sex is only to be between  wedded husband and wife.
  • that the offspring of a sinful relationship, a relationship between two unwedded persons, is a bastard, illegitimate  (there is actually an adoption website named bastard)
  • that marriage vows state ‘til death you do part


(to read about Spiritual Obstacles to Leaving Abuse click on )


     From the perspective of the congregant, whether a teenager or an adult, the traditional message only increases their shame, guilt, (more…)

Blog at