CAROLYN'S COMPOSITIONS

October 27, 2011

I, Cochran Cockroach, Am Worth a Million Dollars!

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

I, COCHRAN COCKROACH, AM WORTH A MILLION DOLLARS!

     Hey, did you read the October 31, 2007, newspaper item? My creator Carolyn did, and she showed me the amazing article. It gave me a whole new view of myself. I, Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach, am worth a million dollars!

     It helped that the news came out on Halloween. Carolyn was recruiting two other persons for her Halloween parade escapade—you know, the one where two cockroaches (one being me) run down the road through the parade participants and crowd, being chased by a human carrying a (more…)

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March 31, 2011

The Origin of April Fool’s Day

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

THE ORIGIN OF APRIL FOOL’S DAY

Cochran Cornell, the Cantankerous Cockroach,

 contributed to this post

     As I recall, way back in time, the unicorn (I’ll call him Sanno) refused to board Noah’s Ark. Sanno was having too much fun bouncing about in the waves of the coming flood. His black, gold, and red horn bobbed up and down through the waves as he splashed, and was splashed, becoming more energetic as the waves increased in size.

     His joy was so great that he didn’t hear Noah’s last call. Noah reached a point of desperation, having to decide whether to sail on, leaving Sanno behind, or to try to rescue him. However, Sanno, swimming about, had swum so far from the ark that Noah realized, finally, that no matter what, he  couldn’t save Sanno, so he sadly sailed on, saving the other animals for future generations.

     Sanno didn’t realize he was missing the boat as he continued to dive in and out of the waves, nary a care in the world. What fun! That is, until he saw a giant wave moving towards him. Suddenly, he realized he might be endangered. He looked about for Noah’s Ark, but all he could see was a speck in the distance. Was that the Ark? It was impossible to tell.

     It didn’t matter. Sanno couldn’t get to the Ark, nor could he avoid the huge wave, one unlike he had ever imagined. It rolled upon him, over him, lifting him higher than he’d ever experienced before. He looked up—he was riding the top of it, and could see for miles! And all he saw was (more…)

October 28, 2010

Tarantulas—Ooh, So Halloween Creepy

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

TARANTULAS — OOH, SO HALLOWEEN CREEPY

Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach

     I was taken aback when I read about the Coarsegold Tarantula Awareness Festival that celebrates the black and brown, doughnut-size spider each October on the Saturday before Halloween.

The shoulder of my creator, Carolyn Cornell Holland, is a cozy place to be on a crisp fall morning. That’s where I was on October 21, when I noticed the newspaper article she was reading.* The sub-headline, Creeping in California, didn’t prepare me for the content—about a goofy lady, Diane Boland, 61, who started this festival in 1997 to atone for crushing a tarantula with her car.

Pix Source Below

The festival time was chosen because the tarantula’s mating season, October to November, peaks on Halloween

Now I’m certain that Diane has disposed permanently of, dismembered, or disabled one of my ilk, a German cockroach. Why didn’t she begin a festival to honor us? Don’t we qualify for being creepy enough for Halloween? Aren’t some people terrified of us? This terror has even been named: katsaridaphobia—fear of cockroaches. Although why humans fear us to that terror level seems extreme to me. They have such misconceptions. OK, so we are hyper-speedy and prolific. And we can sometimes potentially cause of disease and create filth (a rumor, I say, a rumor). Or perhaps they just fear insects in general. Humans simply have a lack of healthy respect for us.

It’s just not enough for someone to create an institution that honors us. You might see why I fumed when reading that the tarantula is celebrated but we cockroaches are not.

Sometime I’d like to make a tarantula movie. The horror of their gruesome activities would certainly inspire compassionate human beings to boycott Diane’s festival, especially if I depict a scene of how they digest a meal: Tarantulas don’t have chewing mouthparts, so what they do is (more…)

July 19, 2010

Cochran Cornell Caught on Flypaper: Part 4

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITION

COCHRAN CORNELL CAUGHT ON FLYPAPER: PART 4

This is the fourth and concluding part of the story of Cochran Cornell the cantankerous cockroach, who found himself caught on sticky flypaper and thought it was the end for him. To read Part 1, click on:     To read Part 2 click on:    To read Part 3 click on: 

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      Their interest piqued, the ants gathered at the edge of the flypaper, raptly listening as Cochran told his story, ending it woefully.

     “And none of my so-called friends—nary a one—cared enough to stay with me and comfort me,” he whined angrily. “Do you think a one of them would care to devise a solution??? Oh, no.”

     The ants looked at each other before gathering in a huddle. Although they considered cockroaches scatterbrained creatures who disrupted their organized work by running all over it, they just had to help a (more…)

July 17, 2010

Cochran Cornell Caught on Flypaper: Part 3

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITION

COCHRAN CORNELL CAUGHT ON FLYPAPER: PART 3

This is the third part of Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach, who finds his natural behavior gets him into trouble. The situation becomes so disastrous that he KNOWS his end is near. His friends abandon him, and he finds a creature so unlike him for support. To read Part 1, click on    To read Part 2, click on

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     Cochran might have noticed the flypaper laying across the countertop if his nature wasn’t so skitterish. Or at least he might have smelled the wonderfully sweet aroma identifying the danger. But the insult he was tossing over his shoulder to Lazybones was too good and it had distracted him from self-protection.

     And a well-deserved insult it was, thought Cochran as he recalled taking a flying leap over the platter, seeking a crumb of delicacy. Because he was looking over his wings at the oaf, he missed his target and (more…)

July 15, 2010

Cochran Cornell Caught on Flypaper: Part 2

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITION

COCHRAN CORNELL CAUGHT ON FLYPAPER: PART 2

 This is the second part of Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach, who finds his natural behavior gets him into trouble. The situation becomes so disastrous that he KNOWS his end is near. His friends abandon him, and he finds a creature so unlike him for support. To read Part 1, click on

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     The faces in the cockroach community expressed horror at seeing one of their own in a situation of certain demise.

     The organizational response, most stopping dead short in their path, lasted only a moment before their roach nature brought back the chaotic scooting. Running past each other, bumping into each other, they commented on the situation.

     Gradually Cochran’s multitudinous progeny gradually arrived as they learned of his dilemma. It was a demonstration of the power of gossip that the news of his certain demise traveled so far in such a rapid time. Some of the community cried softly, others wailed and sobbed and quite a few (more…)

July 12, 2010

Cochran Cornell Caught on Flypaper: Part 1

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITION

COCHRAN CORNELL CAUGHT ON FLYPAPER: PART 1

Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach finds his natural behavior gets him into trouble. The situation becomes so disastrous that he KNOWS his end is near. As his friends abandon him, he finds a creature so unlike him for support. Click back to find the continuation of the saga, which will be filed under Cochran’s writings on this blog www.carolyncholland.wordpress.com . 

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     Sunbeams shone through the window, heralding the arrival of spring while illuminating the craggy corner and making visible the dust bits dancing through the air. This light dismayed Cochran, who normally skittered helter-skelter to a dark crack in the wall or hid under an appliance at the first inkling of any kind of light. But today was different. Today he was stuck, literally imprisoned, unable to escape the abhorrent brightness that descended in the room.

     The previous hours were innocent enough as Cochran enthusiastically earned his title “cantankerous curmudgeon” by systematically (more…)

February 13, 2010

Preparing for a First Date with Carmena

PREPARING FOR THAT FIRST DATE WITH CARMENA

Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach

Cochran peeked in the mirror. His wings shimmered, having just been washed in the late evening rainfall.
 
     Remember me? I’m Cochran, the Cantankerous Cockroach. Actually, I’m Carolyn’s alter ego.And I’m preparing for my first date with Carmena.

     If you can recall your first date with a dream of a woman, you will understand how nervous I am. And of course, as I find myself scittering by a mirror, I cannot help but stop (more…)

January 30, 2010

Replace Punxsutawney Phil with a ROBOT?

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

REPLACE PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL WITH A ROBOT

 IS MY ILK TO BE NEXT?

Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach

     OK, so you haven’t heard from me for a while. Writer’s block. That’s what I suffer from. Just when I thought it was hopeless, I was injected with a jolt of verbal energy…just as you would be if someone suggested replacing all humans with robots.

     I’m so shocked!

     I had pulled myself out of my doldrums just enough to scoot over the local newspaper that my creator Carolyn was reading. And what did I spot? Why, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is campaigning to replace Punxsutawney Phil with a robot

     (Carolyn has this illustration for Punxsutawney Phil—

http://www.flickr.com/photos/beaneryonlineliterarymagazine/2493962362/ . He is so cute as a Beany Baby that someone adopted him.)

     Who do those folks think they are? Personally, I think it’s just a publicity stunt. But if the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals manages to succeed in their quest to robotize my friend…well, fat chance of that…

     PETA claim that humans should treat Phil with compassion. That drew the ire of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, and drew battle lines with the thousands of people, perhaps millions worldwide, who rise early each February 2nd to find out what the near-future weather will be.

     When I heard PETA was campaigning for humans to be compassionate to Phil, I thought to myself, “Rubbish!” But to get the real scoop, I scooted off Carolyn’s newspaper onto the road. Fortunately, I was able to hitch a ride to Punxsutawney, not too far from Carolyn’s Pennsylvania home, in (more…)

December 10, 2008

SANTA IS DEAD!

COCHRAN’S SHENANIGANS

SANTA IS DEAD!

     SANTA IS DEAD! (or he will be if he doesn’t give up his idiotic planned travel on Christmas eve).
     OK, all you gullible people out there, it’s time to write your annual letter to Santa Claus.
     But do you really believe Santa Claus really exists? It’s a cadgy idea, but how do you think Santa accomplishes his

(more…)

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