September 27, 2012

I’m Angry at My Adult Daughter



In August my daughter Sandy did something that made me angry. And I may never forgive her.

Like most mothers, there have been times my child has made me angry.  Not often but it has happened. At least, I think it’s happened. I can’t recall an instance of being angry with her. She wasn’t perfect, but when something happened we dealt with it and moved on.

Sandy, now at the beginning of her fourth decade, is mother to an upcoming fifteen-year-old. They live around the corner from me, and we get along just fine. If I need something, she shares. If she needs something, I share. It’s a healthy relationship that’s becoming richer as we age. But as I am the older generation, I tell her I am better and wiser.

One of my para-professional interests is photography. When I worked at the Fay-West (Tribune-Review weekly insert) newspaper they had a feature photo on the front page. There were times I would trump my photographer/editor’s photo. He once told me that someone at the main office asked him who the new photographer was.  I’d like to think I’m a decent photographer.

I’ve taken thousands of pictures, although I haven’t entered them in competitions. This August I decided I would enter some in the Westmoreland Fair (Greensburg, Pennsylvania). Sandy had just returned from a vacation to Boston (which didn’t help the later situation any since we unhappily decided to postpone our New England trip this year) and decided to enter a photograph she took at Cheers Bar (again, this didn’t help because one of my favorite programs is Cheers and I’ve never been to the bar).

Since she had plans I offered to take her single photograph, along with my eight photographs, to the fair on entry day. However, I gave her a caveat: her “back and white thing” category photo wasn’t to trump my photo entered in that same category.

When my husband and I went to the fair several days later we checked out the photo competition. Of my eight photos I pulled a third place (black and white animals), two fifths (color animals and place), and one honorable mention (place).

And guess what? The second place photograph in the “thing” category was—you guessed it—Sandy’s picture of the Cheers restaurant staircase. I didn’t even place in that category.

I called her at work and told her I was angry at her, that I’d told her I would be if she trumped me. She was amazed that her photo, taken in passing as she looked up and saw the spiral shape, won any prize, much less second place.

“It was beginner’s luck,” she said in her defense (and to mollify my “hurt” feelings) She was pleased and surprised by her success.

“I’m still angry at you,” I said.

Of course, it’s an irrational anger. I’m not really angry. In fact, I’m proud she won.

And, I might note the comment she told me her daughter made while they were on vacation and Sandy was taking pictures: You’re just like Grandma.

I knew it would happen someday—that she would be just like me. It just took a while.

Congratulations, Sandy, on your photographic placement. And I do forgive you—but don’t let it happen again.








  1. LIKE

    Comment by Joan — September 27, 2012 @ 6:38 pm | Reply

  2. fun post! My daughter and I both photographers as was my father, I understand!

    Comment by 11cvmshistoricthoughts — September 27, 2012 @ 10:33 pm | Reply

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