October 27, 2011

I, Cochran Cockroach, Am Worth a Million Dollars!



     Hey, did you read the October 31, 2007, newspaper item? My creator Carolyn did, and she showed me the amazing article. It gave me a whole new view of myself. I, Cochran Cornell the Cantankerous Cockroach, am worth a million dollars!

     It helped that the news came out on Halloween. Carolyn was recruiting two other persons for her Halloween parade escapade—you know, the one where two cockroaches (one being me) run down the road through the parade participants and crowd, being chased by a human carrying a can of Raid (Carolyn has never gotten around to making a Raid costume).

     This news even beat the headlines announcing that college students were making roach robots!

     You see, the Pentagon’s Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency gave the Virginia Commonwealth University a million dollar grant—a MILLION dollars—to study us roaches. The fact that they will also be studying houseflies too—ugh, how could they couple us roaches with the housefly?—can’t even squelch my excitement!

     You see, this finally gives me a PURPOSE in life! They consider us so valuable they want to study us!

     They think we can confirm the presence of toxins inside contaminated buildings or subways. They think we can detect everything from anthrax spores to DNA! DNA—would you believe! WE WILL BE IMPORTANT! Now I have MEANING in my life! If it weren’t for the fact that those gosh-awful houseflies were categorized with us roaches, also being used for research, life would be perfect!

     Or almost perfect—if only Carolyn would get my caricature sketch made. She finally found a model, a Mr. Roach, at the country store in Black Lake, New York. He permitted her to take his profile and straight-on photograph for modeling purposes. He even gave her some suggestions for drawing me.

     Now, remember, DO NOT CRUSH OR CURSE that COCKROACH skittering about your kitchen. He’s no longer a persona non grata. He’s a MVR—MOST VALUABLE ROACH!!!!

After all, he’s worth a MILLION DOLLARS. Are you?



Cochran Cornell Caught on Flypaper: Part 1

Osprey in New York’s St. Lawrence Valley

Googins Island, Maine: An Osprey Sanctuary

Jellyfish Sting Wallis Sands Beach Visitors



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