June 16, 2011

Adoptees are Everywhere



“I just had a similar experience,” the young woman told me.


     My husband Monte, our friend Lois, and I were at a reception following a Pittsburgh Symphony Chamber Orchestra presentation at Indiana State University of Pennsylvania. While standing in the treats line I asked a young couple if they were students.

     “I am,” said the young man, who was studying hotel management with a future goal of opening a European-style bakery.

     “There’s just not too much demand for that in this area,” he said.

     “Have you been to Europe to visit bakeries?” I asked.

     “Not yet.”

     “What country would you like to visit most?”

     He hesitated a moment before answering “France.”

     “If you’re ever in Paris, you must visit the le Procope Café. It’s the oldest longest continually running café in France. I’ve never been there, but I’ve researched it because I intend to use it in a scene in the novel I’m writing. In fact, several people have sent me pictures of the café.”

     That’s when the girl entered the conversation. She wasn’t a student, but had graduated and was out working.

     “You’re a writer? How long have you been writing your novel?”

     “Well…since about 2000.” I felt I had to explain and defend myself, so I continued. “It’s involved a lot of research, and I broke to write a massive paper for a journal competition. Which someone else won.”

     I told her that on January 18 this year I had begun writing in earnest, determined to roll out a chapter a week.

     “But then life interfered again. I had a sister contact me through my blog. My mother had released her for adoption in 1953. The distraction ended with a meeting in Chicago at the beginning of March…”

     “I just had a similar experience,” she interrupted. “I’m adopted, and my bio-mom found me on the computer just recently.”

     “Have you met her?”

     “Yes. It was strange to see someone with traits like I have. I always thought I was unique. I was glad to have my medical history, but we don’t keep in touch.”

     We spoke briefly about adoption experiences before being distracted by the crowd at the treats table. However, I’ve had the same conversation, in various forms, through the years, since I’m a former adoption home study caseworker, an adoptive parent, and have fostered unwed mothers planning on releasing their newborns for adoption.

     Many adoptees are hungry to speak about their situation, but hesitant to reveal their situation and feelings with just anyone. Most express the desire to locate their bio families, if only to learn their medical history and/or to fill in the background pieces of their history.

     That adoption is more prevalent than most people expect is evidenced by the large number of persons searching for their biological roots on Internet search sites.

     Yes, adoptees are everywhere. They even include Oprah’s half-sister. And my full sister.



Five States Allow Adoptees Access to Original Birth Certificates

Open Adoption Issues in Pennsylvania

Adoptee Finds Biological Family: Mine

Can a Mother Forget Her Infant?

Oprah and I: Adoption Reunion Experiences

My Mother’s Secret: An Adoption Story



1 Comment »

  1. The following comment was made to the post THE SWEETNESS LASTS A LIFETIME!!! An Adoption Reunion Story found in the Beanery Online Literary Magazine. I’m copying it over to this post due to its relevant content. I appreciate any and all comments. Thanks, Dora!
    Carolyn Cornell Holland
    NOTE: You might be interested in checking out the following categories on my personal writing magazine, CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS, and its supplement, CAROLYN’S DAILY POSTS: 2011, both of which have adoption categories with posts that speak to all sides of the adoption issue:
    Submitted on 2011/07/26 at 8:27 pm
    I just found my birth mother last month and it is GREAT! I feel like I have ‘roots’ now and know where I came from. Knowing the circumstances, my genetic history, meeting my birth mother, brother and extended family face-to-face, as well as understanding my birth mother have been an incredible experience. I have always been so different from those in my adoptive family — in so many ways — I don’t feel like I just dropped from another planet like I used to — I actually know where I came from. I am looking forward to forming a relationship with my birth family that will be good for all of us. Reading your story is so inspiring!

    Comment by Kathleen — August 3, 2011 @ 10:31 am | Reply

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