CAROLYN'S COMPOSITIONS

October 3, 2009

We’re Adopting a Baby! Part 1


CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

WE’RE ADOPTING A BABY! Part 1

     We’re adopting a baby!

     Oh, it’s not official yet—in fact, we have not even been approved yet. We only just sent in our application. However, we feel confident that we will be found acceptable as adoptive parents. Yet—there is always doubt, a doubt that will persist at least until we are approved as parents, or perhaps not until we receive our baby.

     Adoption is fairly common today. However, we feel our case is unique.

     First, after our application was mailed to the adoption agency in our county, I began working at a child welfare agency in an adjacent county. The job? Interviewing prospective adoptive parents, both before and after their child placement. This was a part-time job, three days a week, in a town eighteen miles away from my home. The two counties have little interrelationship, an important fact, since confidentiality MUST be maintained in all placement situations.

     The second distinctive characteristic for us is the fact that I plan to breastfeed our child—even though I myself had never been pregnant!

     Our interest in adoption evolved gradually.

     My husband Monte, and I, didn’t meet in the music class which we had both taken just for fun—neither of us had the talent of a cricket even though we registered for this class. I sat in the front row, he sat in the back. Then, just after Christmas, I was at a friend’s house. She introduced me to her date—Monte—and they drove me home.

     When we were first married, Monte was teaching at the State University of New York in Buffalo. I was just quitting my job at the university to become a student there. No, not his student, for I had no real interest in his field of physics. We began dating a few days after Valentine’s Day, and became engaged in June. We agreed that for future security, both his and mine, my finishing college was important. So our family was temporarily postponed for two years.

     Then the time was right. We, like many couples, waited patiently for something to happen. But nothing did. Then came the usual visits to the doctor, all of which yielded nothing.

     We decided to fill out applications for adoption on our third anniversary. To do this, we placed our names on a list with an agency in Buffalo. The waiting period for the initial meeting, preceding receipt of the forms, was three months, so we submitted our names in June. There was no obligation at this point. In fact, there was no obligation at any point in the adoption proceedings, until the child was made legally ours.

     The first meeting was to sort out the couples who were or were not really serious about the venture of adoption. Just when we were expecting to receive notification of this meeting, fate redirected us. Monte was offered a job in the physics department at Slippery Rock, Pennsylvania. We were moving to the small rural town. During our house-hunting expedition to our new home town, I phoned a Pennsylvania agency to inquire about adoption procedures. I was relieved me of the fear that there would be a residency requirement beyond the time it took to complete the adoption investigation and proceedings. However, all activity in this agency was slowed down because there was a lack of qualified staff. The agency was operating at half staff.

     We made our move to Slippery Rock without mishap. At the beginning of our second week there, we approached the county agency. We were turned away immediately. They would not even take our names in less than three months. They had their own problems at the moment, and qualified help was difficult to locate. They directed us to the only other agency in the county that handled adoptions, Catholic Social Service Agency. And here we were, devout Protestants! We decided that they could do no more than turn us away. Enroute to Catholic Social Services, a few blocks away, I attempted to swallow my disappointment.

     The receptionist told us that before the agency could give us an application we had to make an appointment with a social worker. So while I readily began to make an appointment, my charming husband, in his usual manner, began to give the girl a difficult time. His question: Why make an appointment and an extra trip to Butler if the agency would not consider our case, because we were outside the Catholic faith.

     Monte is an expert at giving people a difficult time. And an expert at making himself heard. So it was that the proper person heard him. The agency director proved to be an interesting person, who stated that he had a few moments. Could he be of any assistance? We went into his office and he explained a few things to us. When we walked out, we had had our initial interview, on the spot! We received our application. But the most surprising discovery of all was the fact that my idea of breastfeeding an adopted infant was accepted as a natural fact.

     Two weeks later, after receiving permission from three persons to use their names as personal references and Xeroxing a copy of our application for our files, we mailed it to the agency.

     Meanwhile, while waiting for our second interview, I began interviewing prospective adoptive parents.

 To read WE’RE ADOPTING A BABY! Part 2, click on: We’re Adopting a Baby! Part 2

ADDITIONAL READING:

Adoptee Finds Biological Family: Mine

Oprah and I: Adoption Reunion Experiences

Can a Mother Forget Her Infant?

Five States Allow Adoptees Access to Original Birth Certificates

Women, the Super Bowl, and Heart Attacks

Heart Attack Symptoms in Women

THE SWEETNESS LASTS A LIFETIME!!! An Adoption Reunion Story

ADOPTION LAW LINKS:

http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/new-hampshire-adoption-laws.html

http://adoption.about.com/od/adoptionlawsbystate/Adoption_Laws_by_State.htm

http://www.adoptiononline.com/stateadoptionlaws.html

http://www.bastards.org/activism/contacts.htm

Mystery in St. Francis Cemetery in Minersville (PA)

MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY: Nancy Briskay Cornell Lipsius

Honey’s Coming Home! Our cat must recuperate

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2 Comments »

  1. Holy moly…I thought this was an “in the now” post at first. 😉

    Comment by Diane Cipa — October 4, 2009 @ 9:04 pm | Reply

  2. Fooled ya’! Carolyn

    Comment by carolyncholland — October 5, 2009 @ 4:20 am | Reply


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