CAROLYN'S COMPOSITIONS

April 23, 2009

How to plan to escape from a domestic violence situation


CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

HOW TO PLAN TO ESCAPE

FROM A

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ABUSE SITUATION

(learn the signs of domestic violence: http://www.wcspittsburgh.org/page.aspx?pid=354

to read about Spiritual Obstacles to Leaving Abuse click on http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/spiritual_obstacles_to_leaving_abuse.html )

      Escaping an abuse situation can be dangerous. The first days, weeks, months, after leaving are the most dangerous days in the relationship. My husband, Monte, a pastor, buried one young woman whose ex-boyfriend returned and gunned down both her and her new boyfriend within weeks of their separation.

     A viable plan is necessary. The steps below need to be carried out cautiously to prevent their detection.

     First, familiarize yourself as best possible with domestic violence services in your community, especially the staff at the woman’s shelter in your community. Understand that their protective housing is available only for a limited number of days, often thirty, and their location is top secret for the protection of the women, children and staff’s protection. If for some reason the woman’s shelter is unavailable or will not work, arrange someplace secret to go to and DO NOT inform the perpetrator, or leave behind clues as to where you are.

     Plan ahead. If you believe that you must leave your situation at a future time, attempt to acquire some cash. Copy important documents (marriage certificate, bank papers, medical papers, etc.), photographs, and other materials, place them in a sealed brown envelope, choose a person you can trust, and file them at their home. Make certain you do the same for your children’s documents. If you must leave quickly at a later date, your paperwork will be available.

     Keep a record of abuse incidents. The key here is to document, document, document. Record the date, time, type and extent of the injury, how it was received, and who injured you. If you become injured by a mate, go to the hospital and have the incident recorded. Then have someone take a photograph of the injuries, with the day’s newspaper dateline in the picture if possible. Keep these records in the same location as your other valuable papers. Never release them to anyone—if necessary, provide copies.

     In the same vein, pack an overnight case with necessaries for both you and your children—toothbrush, medicines, nightclothes, day clothes, etc.—and store it where it will not be found, preferably at a spot outside your home.

     Keep the emergency number, 911, on your telephone speed dial.  

     Once you leave, go to a place unknown to your perpetrator, and DO NOT contact the perpetrator. Follow precisely the directions of the staff of the facility you escape to.

     Remember, the safety of your children and others are as much at stake as your own safety.

     I’m certain women who have experienced the “escape” can provide further advice and comments. I invite them to share their experience and advice in the comment box below.

ADDITIONAL READING:

CHILD ABUSE SERIES—

CHILD ABUSE DEFINITIONS

TYPES OF ABUSE

CHILD ABUSE AND SCRIPTURE

ARE YOU PUNISHING OR DISCIPLINING YOUR CHILD?

CHARACTERISTICS OF ABUSIVE FAMILIES

CHILD ABUSE CREATES VICTIMIZATION

The Cycle of Abuse in Domestic Violence

DEVOTIONS ON ABUSE—

Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath

THOSE WHO DO EVIL HAVE NOT SEEN GOD: A Devotion on Child Abuse

And who will reach the downtrodden? Lent Devotion #18

ARTICLES ON ABUSE—

WILL YOU LOVE ME TO DEATH?

SHOULD INFORMATION ON AN ALLEGED CHILD ABUSER BE PUBLICIZED?

WILL YOU LOVE ME TO DEATH?

BUTLER STREET

BEYOND THE ROCK

DUST MOTE

THOUGHTS FOR DAVID

REACH OUT

A PIECE OF ME

THE WELL-ADJUSTED CHILD

CHILDREN LEFT HOME ALONE (or in cars alone)

ANOTHER HORRIFYING HEADLINE

KILLED STRANGELY: A NEW ENGLAND MURDER STORY

THE HOLOCAUST STORY OF A TEENAGE VICTIM (Part 1)

MY HAPPY PLACE

VOICES OF WILDERNESS: PEACE MEETING

DOES EXAGGERATING THE TRUTH CREATE GOOD STORIES?

SITE LINKS:

www.beanerywriters.wordpress.com/

www.carolyncholland.wordpress.com

www.barbarapurbaugh.com

www.pennwriters.com

ellenspain.com

http://ligonierliving.blogspot.com/

http://www.methodists-care.org/

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