CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS
CHILD ABUSE CREATES VICTIMIZATION
This post is part of a continuing series about child abuse and parenting. At the end of this article are links to the other posts in this series and on this subject. If the links do not work, go to www.carolyncholland.wordpress.com , click on the folder CHILD ABUSE, and scroll down the posts to find answers to your questions.
Abuse, the wrongfully use of a person, can affect the core of their being to the extent that it influences every aspect of their life, from the moment of the first act of mistreatment. Abuse of this depth is considered “trauma.”
What is considered “trauma” can vary with each individual. Much depends on the individual’s past experience, personality make-up, perception and responses of others to the trauma.
A VICTIM is a person who experiences a trauma. Many victims of trauma heal and continue on with life, with minimal long-term effects.
The danger occurs when the victim is VICTIMIZED. Victimization occurs when the victim ACCEPTS THE BLAME FOR THE PERPETRATOR’S ACTIONS. Child abuse, in particular, lends itself to victimization.
A basic effect of trauma is BETRAYAL.
To a child, their parents (or primary caretakers) are perceived as “gods,” since the child is totally dependent on them for their basic needs and survival.
Often, deep down, the child KNOWS he is not the cause of the trauma. However, due to his dependency, he MUST believe that his parents are not to blame. After all, “gods” are always right. If it weren’t so, how could the child depend on them for his survival?
Thus, the child accepts the blame for the abuse, and victimization occurs.
~~~~~~
There are ways to avoid or minimizing trauma to your child.
First, know your child. What is traumatizing to one child may be corrective to another.
Second, edify your child, eg. build him/her up in an authentic manner.
Third, seek counsel. If you have only had examples of punishment and not of discipline in your own life, reeducate yourself.
Fourth, control your own reaction to your child’s trauma. Your reaction can be further traumatizing.
Finally, love your child’s other parent. That is the best gift you can give your child.
~~~~~~
PARENT-CHILD ACTIVITY
Learn about your child through a picture collage. Find pictures in old magazines representing the child’s likes and dislikes. Paste them on separate poster board or cardboard. This allows your child to express who he is.
ADDITIONAL READING:
CHILD ABUSE SERIES:
ARTICLES ON ABUSE:
WILL YOU LOVE ME TO DEATH?
BUTLER STREET
BEYOND THE ROCK
THOUGHTS FOR DAVID
REACH OUT
A PIECE OF ME
THE WELL-ADJUSTED CHILD
CHILD ABUSE AND SCRIPTURE
CHILDREN LEFT HOME ALONE (or in cars alone)
ANOTHER HORRIFYING HEADLINE
KILLED STRANGELY: A NEW ENGLAND MURDER STORY
MY HAPPY PLACE
CAROLYN'S COMPOSITIONS
CHILD ABUSE CREATES VICTIMIZATION
Tags: Abuse, Child abuse, Child traumatization, Child victimization, Children, COMMENTARY, Current affairs, Daily Life, Education, Ethics, Family, Health, Latest post, Life, Lifestyle, Misc., Miscellaneous, Parenting, People, Relationships, Thoughts, Victimization, Women
CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS
CHILD ABUSE CREATES VICTIMIZATION
This post is part of a continuing series about child abuse and parenting. At the end of this article are links to the other posts in this series and on this subject. If the links do not work, go to www.carolyncholland.wordpress.com , click on the folder CHILD ABUSE, and scroll down the posts to find answers to your questions.
Abuse, the wrongfully use of a person, can affect the core of their being to the extent that it influences every aspect of their life, from the moment of the first act of mistreatment. Abuse of this depth is considered “trauma.”
What is considered “trauma” can vary with each individual. Much depends on the individual’s past experience, personality make-up, perception and responses of others to the trauma.
A VICTIM is a person who experiences a trauma. Many victims of trauma heal and continue on with life, with minimal long-term effects.
The danger occurs when the victim is VICTIMIZED. Victimization occurs when the victim ACCEPTS THE BLAME FOR THE PERPETRATOR’S ACTIONS. Child abuse, in particular, lends itself to victimization.
A basic effect of trauma is BETRAYAL.
To a child, their parents (or primary caretakers) are perceived as “gods,” since the child is totally dependent on them for their basic needs and survival.
Often, deep down, the child KNOWS he is not the cause of the trauma. However, due to his dependency, he MUST believe that his parents are not to blame. After all, “gods” are always right. If it weren’t so, how could the child depend on them for his survival?
Thus, the child accepts the blame for the abuse, and victimization occurs.
~~~~~~
There are ways to avoid or minimizing trauma to your child.
First, know your child. What is traumatizing to one child may be corrective to another.
Second, edify your child, eg. build him/her up in an authentic manner.
Third, seek counsel. If you have only had examples of punishment and not of discipline in your own life, reeducate yourself.
Fourth, control your own reaction to your child’s trauma. Your reaction can be further traumatizing.
Finally, love your child’s other parent. That is the best gift you can give your child.
~~~~~~
PARENT-CHILD ACTIVITY
Learn about your child through a picture collage. Find pictures in old magazines representing the child’s likes and dislikes. Paste them on separate poster board or cardboard. This allows your child to express who he is.
ADDITIONAL READING:
CHILD ABUSE SERIES:
CHILD ABUSE DEFINITIONS
TYPES OF ABUSE
CHILD ABUSE AND SCRIPTURE
ARTICLES ON ABUSE:
WILL YOU LOVE ME TO DEATH?
SHOULD INFORMATION ON AN ALLEGED CHILD ABUSER BE PUBLICIZED?
WILL YOU LOVE ME TO DEATH?
BUTLER STREET
BEYOND THE ROCK
THOUGHTS FOR DAVID
REACH OUT
A PIECE OF ME
THE WELL-ADJUSTED CHILD
CHILD ABUSE AND SCRIPTURE
CHILDREN LEFT HOME ALONE (or in cars alone)
ANOTHER HORRIFYING HEADLINE
DOES EXAGGERATING THE TRUTH CREATE GOOD STORIES?
KILLED STRANGELY: A NEW ENGLAND MURDER STORY
THE HOLOCAUST STORY OF A TEENAGE VICTIM (Part 1)
MY HAPPY PLACE
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