CAROLYN'S COMPOSITIONS

January 3, 2013

Redoing Bedrooms: What Fun It Is

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

REDOING BEDROOMS: WHAT FUN IT IS

In February 2012 an infant girl my mother released for adoption sixty-three years ago contacted me through this online magazine, CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS. Recently she sent me an email and agreed I could post it. I’d told her I would do so without including her name.
Carolyn:

Do you recall me telling you in an e-mail about a month ago that it’s redecorating time? Someone needs to have me committed. Permanently.

This all started after seeing the nicely tiled master bath in my married son’s new house and my husband watching too many home improvement shows on Sundays.

After both of us agreeing that our master bath of twenty-two years needs a make-over, off we went to Lowe’s and bought a couple of tile samples that we liked. We also looked at new vanities and decided we don’t need two sinks—one will do nicely. We also decided we weren’t going to spend $1000 on a new vanity top made of granite.

I said it’s likely to be a winter project. Of course, my husband and I are among those who cringe at the thought of paying to have someone do what we can do ourselves.

With that project put on hold until early next year, your brilliant sister’s thoughts turned elsewhere (you’re likely to disavow me after reading this). There was something I’ve wanted to do for about two years now: (more…)

October 30, 2009

A Jack-O-Lantern Interview

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

A  JACK-O-LANTERN INTERVIEW

During our October Beanery Writers Group meeting a Halloween prompt was given out: You are the star reporter for Halloween Headline, and you’ve just landed an interview with Casper the Friendly Ghost. Write out 20 questions to ask during the interview. Responses from members of the group are posted at:

I decided to change the character being interviewed from Casper the Friendly Ghost to a Jack-O-Lantern. Below is my list of interview questions.

Now I need to locate a Jack-O-Lantern who is willing to be interviewed. If you are a willing Jack-O-Lantern, please contact me with your information in the comment box at the end of this post.

Where were you planted and harvested? Was it in (more…)

July 7, 2009

Three Women Wildly Battle With UNO Cards

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

THREE WOMEN WILDLY BATTLE WITH UNO CARDS

The Truno Tribe Members Unabashably Compete

     The post-July 4 weekend found three women—Lousy-Hand Lois, Ardent Arlene and Coy Carolyn, playing animated games of Uno. They decided to call themselves the Truno Tribe—“Tr” for trio, “uno” for Uno. Below is the poem they penned as they played:

All is fair in love and Uno,

          Especially with the players Truno.

Are we true? Definitely no!

          We cheat and bleat and cheat so.

Red, blue, now yellow, now green.  

          All who listen hear us (more…)

January 10, 2009

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING SOCKS

Filed under: HUMOR — carolyncholland @ 4:23 am

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING SOCKS

(Not a question about the Clinton’s cat)

 

     Perhaps ex-president Bill and Hilliary Clinton named their cat Socks in deference to one of society’s greatest philosophical, theological, sociological, and psychological questions.
     So national, if not global, an issue is this question that I found myself conducting an informal cross-cultural survey of personal and chat room contacts in order to enlighten others about the issue: What happens to all the missing socks?
     Even media recognizes the problem. When I turned the television to (more…)

January 7, 2009

JANUARY DAYS OF CELEBRATION: Part 2

Filed under: HUMOR — carolyncholland @ 2:00 am

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

JANUARY DAYS OF CELEBRATION: Part 2

 
To read Part I click on JANUARY DAYS OF CELEBRATION: Part 1
Recall that previously I mentioned my eccentricity. Well, I’ve been a hat-wearer for years. My husband tells me he likes this, because he can always find me when I wander away from him in the store. Sometimes friends ask me if the beret I’m wearing is because I’ve been writing about a French woman. All this is leading up to the fact that January 15 is (more…)

January 6, 2009

JANUARY DAYS OF CELEBRATION: Part 1

Filed under: HUMOR — carolyncholland @ 3:42 am

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

JANUARY DAYS OF CELEBRATION: Part 1

 
Have you spoken any trivia today?

     If not, you missed the fun of this 4th day of January 2009. Trivia Day. A day to play Trivial Pursuit, a game which always challenges me—and I lose, because I have specific name and date memory deficit. This is a syndrome I invented because, although I can tell you every generality about a person or event, what escapes my mind is the person’s name and the event’s date. I blame this on (more…)

April 27, 2008

A KUDZU COVERED VEHICLE GRAVEYARD

Summer is vacation time. This item is a warning for Northerners visiting the southeastern states…

Among America’s many enemies, none is more disastrous than Pueraria Lobata, commonly known as KUDZU.

Residents of the southeastern United States, where it grows prolifically, must prepare for sporadic, unpredictable energy blackouts not caused by (more…)

March 29, 2008

HOT DOG LIMERICKS

Filed under: HUMOR,Poetry — carolyncholland @ 8:04 pm
Tags: , , ,

In 2006 I dared submit three limericks to the limerick contest sponsored by the Ligonier Valley Writers. They sponsor this contest each year for their Hot Dog Fest, a winter picnic, where they honor a writer with an award. Below are my three entries (which didn’t win anything, but nonetheless were written).

No ant. No sunburn. No log.
No water, way down (more…)

February 29, 2008

SOCKATORY

“Wh…where am I?”

Water dripped off Jym Anklet as he rubbed his heel with his toes, while noticing the sterile white room and feeling the cold surface of the emergency-room drawer.

“Whoa, that’s quite a bruise. Looks like a belt buckle hit you pretty hard,” said Holey Wellworn.

“Belt buckle?”

“Yes, it left quite an impression on your heel.”

As Holey’s comforting touch eased Jym’s pain he realized he lay crumpled in a chilly, scummy water puddle. His last recollection was swishing luxuriously in a warm, soapy clothes washer.

Now he was…where?…was this the post-life secret?

(to continue this story click on SOCKATORY )  

February 28, 2008

OBITUARY FOR BLUE BUOY (A Blue Lobster)

OBITUARY NOTICE
(See Blue Buoy’s picture—click on:
 http://www.flickr.com/photos/carolyncholland/776823509/ )

We regretfully report the demise of Blue Buoy, age unknown, sometime last spring or early summer. Following Blue Buoy’s capture near the Isles of Shoals in September, 2003, he spent a short time at a lobster shack in New Castle, NH. From there he took up residence at the Seacoast Science Center in Rye, NH, where visitors, including many school children on field trips, admired his robin’s egg blue color.Blue Buoy leaves behind cousins Whitey, Baloo Bell and his aged uncle, Toughage.
His legacy is not only in the hearts (more…)

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