Why women stay in abusive relationships: Is this the right question?

CAROLYN’S COMPOSTITIONS

WHY WOMEN STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS:

IS THIS THE RIGHT QUESTION?

      Why would a woman who’s been savagely beaten by her boyfriend run right back into his arms?

     That was the question people asked when singer Rihanna, who not only didn’t press charges after her boyfriend (singer Chris Brown) allegedly assaulted her in February, but may have even reconciled with him.

     It’s a question asked repeatedly by persons familiar with any abuse situation where the victim returns to a dangerous situation. And it’s a hard situation for most people to understand.

     Most often, the abused woman’s self-esteem is

How to plan to escape from a domestic violence situation

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

HOW TO PLAN TO ESCAPE

FROM A

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ABUSE SITUATION

 

     Escaping an abuse situation can be dangerous. The first days, weeks, months, after leaving are the most dangerous days in the relationship. My husband, Monte, a pastor, buried one young woman whose ex-boyfriend returned and gunned down both her and her new boyfriend within weeks of their separation.

     A viable plan is necessary. The steps below need to be carried out cautiously to prevent their detection.

     First, familiarize yourself as best possible with domestic violence services in your community, especially the

Hope for Victims of Domestic Violence

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

HOPE FOR THE VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

 

 

This post is part of a continuing series about child abuse and parenting. At the end of this article are links to the other posts on this subject. If the links do not work, go to www.carolyncholland.wordpress.com , click on the folder CHILD ABUSE, and scroll down the posts to find answers to your questions. Some applicable devotions will be filed in the DEVOTIONS folder.

 

     Although abuse victims learn to accept their worthlessness, there is hope for those who are caught in abusive lifestyles and for adults suffering the effects of childhood abuse, even though remnant effects of the abuse may never leave. The cycle of abuse can be broken—in your own life and in your children’s lives. Abusiveness is learned behavior. As such, it can be

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: A Devotion

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITONS

BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE: A DEVOTION

 

SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 25 instructs husbands to “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church…Christ gave himself for it….men ought to love their wives as their own bodies…two shall be one flesh.”

 

DEVOTION: I have pictures in my files of bruises given to women by their husbands. How could this be if the men loved their wives they way Christ loved the church, as they loved their own bodies, and if they were one flesh? How is it that a spouse will

A PASTOR’S ROLE IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

CAROLYN’S COMPOSITIONS

A PASTOR’S ROLE IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Carol J. Adams, is author of Woman-Battering, a pastoral counseling book, and a teacher at Perkins School of Theology, Texas, where she teaches a course on sexual and domestic violence. She said she is angry at seminaries that graduate pastors untrained in domestic violence issues. The following article comes from seminars she presented to pastors a few years ago. (To view photo illustration click on: http://www.flickr.com/photos/carolyncholland/2397849702/ )

One pastor attempted to speak with a woman he knew was experiencing domestic violence, but she “didn’t want to talk about” her marriage problems. She is now divorced.

Another pastor had a woman approach him about her abusive relationship. He made arrangements for her to go to a local woman’s shelter, but she returned to her husband instead. “I was almost feeling kind of guilty. Could I have done more?” the pastor wondered. “But I left the door open