COCHRAN’S SHENANIGANS
Dear SANTA from COCHRAN
Written by Cochran Cornell the cantankerous cockroach. If you haven’t met him yet click on HI! I’M COCHRAN! NICE TO MEET Y’ALL! (in the folder Cochran’s Shenanigans (in the category list on this blog) for an introduction and to read more of his articles.
NOTE: Cochran used some pretty unusual words in his letter to Santa. Perhaps the cockroach is attempting to challenge human beings. Strange words (starred) are defined at the end of the letter. This was Cochran’s letter to Santa in 2007. Watch for his 2008 letter.
Dear Santa,
I cannot believe I’m stooping so low as to write to you, a round belly fat guy claiming to deliver gifts to all the children in the world in a reindeer-driven sIeigh. To add insult to injury, we are expected to (more…)
Do you remember the olden days before the computer? Of course not, you’re youngsters. I’m asking those of you who once used the typewriter—that antiquarian machine! WE know about (more…)
Now that I’ve introduced myself, let me share a letter I wrote to my friend, A’nonniemouse, my best friend created by Rustie, who is my creator’s best friend. It will tell you more about ME! It was written in June, 1997, and shows my struggles in self-esteem and gaining maturity. I’m a different cockroach today!
Dear A’nonniemouse,
I received your letter of May 30 a couple of weeks ago and must truly thank you for your two letters, especially the second, a real bonus, since I didn’t answer your first one.
You mentioned mitigating circumstances as to why I haven’t written to you.
A’nonnie, you just don’t know!
You said you didn’t know what to say to me because you don’t know me. Well, I must confess—therein lies the problem! I’m struggling (more…)
After many years I’m finally coming out of the imagination into reality!
Let me introduce myself. My name is Cochran Cornell. People refer to me as cantankerous, but I cannot understand why. I’m not difficult or irritating! How can I be considered mean-spirited? Why, I’m most often like Grover (more…)
SANTA IS DEAD!
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COCHRAN’S SHENANIGANS
SANTA IS DEAD!
SANTA IS DEAD! (or he will be if he doesn’t give up his idiotic planned travel on Christmas eve).
OK, all you gullible people out there, it’s time to write your annual letter to Santa Claus.
But do you really believe Santa Claus really exists? It’s a cadgy idea, but how do you think Santa accomplishes his
(more…)